An insider guide to chemotherapy...

By way of an introduction I'm not quite sure why I wrote my blog post this week in the form of a journal. Possibly because I'm reading diaries again (Chris Mullin this time), partially an experiment, partly because I want to remember how this time through immediate post chemotherapy went so I can put it into perspective when I go through it for the final time, for now, at then end of this month. Anyway, let me know what you think....

Friday - Day 1 after chemotherapy session 5

Woke up feeling pretty nauseous, which has persisted all morning. I couldn't face dinner last night in the hospital and I can't see today being any better on this front, so I'll need to stay on top of my Fortisips drinks (meal replacements) if I can face them. Constipation hasn't been an issue yet, although I guess I'm anticipating this at some point. More information than people probably need to read about but it is the single most unpleasant side effect of the whole process. And I hate it. A lot!

Time has moved on to mid-afternoon. Not been able to sleep yet and must get a kip in before tonight to see if I can put my schedule back on a partly normal cycle. Hopefully the wierd dreams won't kick in so much this time, although they too seem to be linked to the chemotherapy and are worse in the early part of the cycle, just after a chemo session.

Slept for about 2 or 3 hours from about 3pm to 6pm. Got up to watch a bit of TV and have a shower. Had another Fortisips but it didn't go down very easily. Just gone 8pm, time to take my pills and think about going to bed. 

Saturday - Day 2

Was up during the night a couple of times to go to the loo, but managed to pretty much go straight back to sleep. So slept through until about 6:30am and then got up to make a cup of tea. On the positive side I slept without the awful sweating and bad dreams I often get at this stage. Slightly less positive is that I still feel a bit nauseous and can't see solid food back on my agenda anytime soon. 

Played on the iPad for awhile and then a sleep from noon until 2pm. Due a visit from stairlift people to give a quote. Not sure how I really feel about it, but if I want to prolong my time at home then I'll need to be able to get up and down the stairs if my lungs aren't up to it.

Wow, stairlifts aren't cheap are they! And bloody typical, the design of the house means that I either have a stairlift fitted rail side that has a trip hazard and therefore needs to be hinged or I have to have a radiator moved that's at the bottom of the stairs in order to have a wall side installation which will probably be the best from a design & space point of view. Decisions, decisions. 

Coming up to 5:30 and have managed a little solid food. It was only a couple of pieces of cheese on toast but it felt good to get back in the saddle with solids. 

Waiting now to catch Lee McQueen on Sky News which he trailed in his Twitter stream. Just saw the item, it's something to do with reality TV and is it the beginning of the end with the demise of Big Brother? A nice bit of exposure for Lee, he did well. 

Oops, I left the grill on. Managed not to burn then house down. Not my finest hour, I need to be more careful.

It's 10pm and I'm still awake, alive and kicking. Managed a bit more food this evening watching the X Factor and kept it down. Food still doesn't taste quite right and I despair sometimes that it's never going to be quite right again. The only slight chink of daylight has been the occasional glimmer of enjoying food just before chemo treatments... the greasy spoon breakfast just before chemo 4 and the steak dinner just before chemo 3. Think I will take myself off to bed and try and read for a bit. Goodnight. Sleep tight.

Sunday - Day 3

Slept reasonably again. Up a couple of times but no trauma, bad dreams or sweating. Less good news is that then stomach feels a bit ropey again after a good evening on the food front.

Managed to get out of the house for an hour or so. Went to then garden centre near Althorp House and had a nice stroll around the shop. As I used it while there it reminds me to mention an iPhone app that has proven quite useful, called Red Laser. The principle is simple, take a photo of a bar code label, the app scans the photo and then looks up the item using a Google shopping search to find better pricing. Not something shop owners are going to think much of, but a really great simple money saving idea. The live example was a book selling for RRP of £7.50 found online for £1.50 (used) and £4.00 (new). 

 

Have managed a couple of hours sleep. Now 4pm and got up to find the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games on the box. Mind you I seem to have intercepted an interminable speech by one of the organisers. Sigh!

Caught up with both episodes of Strictly Come Dancing and the X Factor. Surprised that Cheryl took Cher in what felt like the strongest category but totally unsurprised that Simon took both the groups put together at Boot Camp. That definitely feels like it's all about his ego, that he couldn't possibly be wrong and if those two groups get anywhere it's proof of his omniscience.

Stayed up reasonably late, had a bit of soup and got psyched up to go to bed. It's only 9:30pm, but I guess the fatigue is kicking in. I'm guessing that the steroids are keeping that at bay somewhat and probably means that when I come off the steroids at then end of week 1 then week 2 will be the worst of the recovery period.

Monday - Day 4

Slept as well as could be expected. Up reasonably early with a bit of energy, so have done a few chores, email and stuff. Filed some paperwork, written some cheques, paid some bills. The high life, eh! Gonna try and up the Fortsips a bit as I've lost weigh yet again... another six pounds but I can't afford to lose much more. I calculate I've lost 4 stone since the start of chemotherapy and 5 stone since my diabetic diagnosis a couple of years ago. 

Managed four Fortisips and a couple of pieces of cheese on toast. Stayed up quite late and watched Spooks, which was quite good. Still didn't feel that tired when I went to bed at about 11pm but must have drifted off pretty quickly.

Tuesday - Day 5 

Time, unfortunately, is just flying by. In a blur. Far too quickly.

Wednesday - Day 6

Another blur, this time mainly fatigue driven. Couple of nice phone calls late on when I seemed to gather a bit of second wind. Conservative conference is the main news backdrop on the TV, sadly for Dave Cameron he's not Winston or JFK. I'm finding party political strategy harder to take an interest in, now that I won't be around to be impacted by most of it.  

Thursday - Day 7

Off to a reasonable start today, a few emails replied to, a couple of jobs jobbed. Started to prepare a modified version of my journal as a blog post. Wondering if people would like the diary format rather than a blog post format, or a mix. I know that I quite like reading the diary format. I enjoyed reading Alastair Campbell (and I'm sad that I probably won't be around when volumes 3 and 4 of the uncut diaries are published) and right now, among other things, I'm reading Chris Mullin's rather excellent account of his last days in Parliament and the demise of New Labour. Appropriate timing given that the Shadow Cabinet announcements should be imminent. Funnily enough there doesn't seem to be much strong opinion on who will get what role, at least from the writers I'm reading. Ed Balls strikes me as behaviourally inappropriate as Chancellor. His reported behaviour (by Blair, Campbell and Mandelson) isn't the standard one expects from someone aspiring to such high office (and let's face it, probably hasn't given up on the top job yet).

Friday - Day 8

Having enjoyed the more recent diary I have now started on Chris Mullin's earlier diaries from his days as a junior minister. I do find these books and this time frame (Blair, Brown, Mandelson, Campbell) fascinating for some reason. Wondering to what extent reading diaries has got me writing a journal (of sorts) without reaching much of a conclusion.

I was off to a pretty good start this morning energy wise but have come crashing down with fatigue again. Does not bode well for the weekend as I'd like to get out before I go any more stir crazy.

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If you've got this far, do leave me a comment if like the format. Or leave me a question, if there's something you want to ask. Most of all, give me a ring. I'm sorry I'm not always in a position to answer but sometimes it is everything I can do just to stay awake and I just don't have the energy, even for a quick hello. Hopefully I'm not too far away from the end of the fatigue roller coaster and getting some stability back. To know when I'll be awake and when I'm likely to be asleep doesn't sound like much but will be a big change for me.

 

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