The long and winding blog post

I had my review on Tuesday evening with my oncologist. An "interim review" it's called. Sounds like something that would happen at work. What are the objectives and how and I getting along with delivering them? I was more than ready for this meeting. From my end of the telescope all I've had in the last three months is a diagnosis of cancer that's incurable, the report of a collapsed lung and a prognosis of 6 months to live, maybe 12 months tops. Whilst I've committed to fight it and beat the prognosis I've had no feedback on whether or not the fight is paying off. So it would be an understatement to say I'm in real need of some feedback, anything at all really, but hopefully something positive.

I was still in the process of sitting down when he said there was good news. When you're dying it's amazing how a short utterance from the right person can turn your week around. The doc got straight to it... my tumours have shrunk by around an average of 30% and my lung, which had collapsed, has re-inflated. We talk for awhile about side effects issues and focus in on the feeling sick in the week or so after a chemo treatment. We're going to try a different approach to the anti-emetics this time to see if there is a better way for my stomach to settle down. The doc talks about the number of chemo sessions. Given my responsiveness to the first two chemo sessions he confirms that we will do four sessions but he says he's thinking about going for the six sessions which would be the maximum in this phase. He says we will look at this again when we review after the fourth session. I push him on the prognosis. He's cagey and cautious, as I have come to expect. If I'm honest I'm disappointed with what he says next. We started with a prognosis on 6 to 12 months. He says now that his best estimate is 9 to 12 months and he would err on the high side of that estimate. Given that we've moved three months along his original prognosis then I think I've added just 6 months to his estimate. I was hoping I'd extended it out to 2 years or at least 18 months. I plan to defy the odds of his prognosis anyway, but I'd have like to have heard something more optimistic from him. On this basis I should comfortably get to my 50th birthday. Put the date in your diary, I plan to have a celebration!

SIDENOTE - Interestingly the news today is that the Lockerbie bomber has survived 4 times the prognosis he was given when he was released. If he can do it....

I admit I punched the air as I left the doctors office. A bit childish of me, but what the hell. I was due some good news and something to go my way for a change. And that was, in the great scheme of things, very good news for me. We went to the American Diner on the way home and I had a fillet steak for dinner. I had chips and fried eggs as the sides and I polished most of it away. The biggest and probably tastiest meal I've had in several weeks. It was a nice treat.

I'm definitely in the sweet spot between chemo sessions. My two chemo sessions so far have been on a Thursday. They start at 8:30am and I get discharged at around 8:30 am on the Friday morning. Having been awake for most of the 24 hours, like anyone I'm pretty wiped out on the Friday. Saturday is generally a good day and the slide into fatigue starts sometime on the Sunday. It's then a case of seven to fourteen days recovering from the fatigue. So the next sweet spot should be sometime around the 2nd September going through to the 9th of September, which will probably be my fourth chemo session, all things being equal.

The iPad continues to be a saviour. I've discovered a bit of software called calibre - it's a book management system. It's advantage is that it can convert most e-book formats into the epub format needed for the iPad book reader. Between that and the Kindle app I'm all set with books to read for months to come.

For music discovery apps I am thoroughly convinced that Soundhound is the way to go on the iPad in the the UK. I think Pandora is the best app in this category but it's not available in the UK for licensing reasons. It is theoretically possible to get Pandora on your laptop if you fake your IP as being USA based but that's quite technical and messy. I do hope they can sort this out soon because I've definitely had the best results in discovering new artists that I like using Pandora. With Soundhound it's been more a case of finding someone I know but have forgotten about. That said I do rate it higher than Shazam. My other favourite music app is WunderRadio - which makes it easy to listen to almost any radio station in the world. Apart from the obvious - listening to breakfast radio in the UK - I have found it useful to listen to comedy stations in the US broadcasting standup comedy. The quality of the comedy ranges from good to bad to great - but in the main it's been a great pick me up when I'm feeling a bit blue.

UPDATE: It's Friday morning and I've made it through chemo session 3. It's about 5:45am and the last bag of drugs has just gone through, the cannula has been removed and I'm polishing off a nice cup of tea. I've slept the best I've slept at a chemo session, at least seven hours although it's been broken by bag changes for the chemo drugs. So today might be a good day, given that I'm on high doses of various pick me ups today and tomorrow. This won't stop the fatigue hitting me Sunday, but means there is a chance I get a reasonable weekend. Leisa will pick me up at 8:30-ish and we won't have to hang around for anything - my discharge pill bag was given to me yesterday so there's nothing to wait for. I guess we've got quite skilled at planning for the chemo sessions now that we know how they work. It also pays to be a bit assertive with the knowledge you gain from previous sessions. My personal example is that there's no reason to stay hooked up to the drip once your last bag of drugs has gone through. Sometimes the nurses can be reluctant, and want you to stay hooked up until the morning, but there doesn't seem to be a sound medical reason for it and the sooner the needle comes out, in my opinion, the better. Getting back the freedom of movement is just great - when you're hooked up even going to the toilet is a drag as you have to disconnect the stand from the mains, drag the stand with you to the loo, at the toilet you're basically one handed, and then you have to drag it all back to the bed, untangle it from the movement, and connect back to the power, finally settling yourself down in the chair or bed hoping you haven't put a kink in the line and set off the alarm which means calling for a nurse to sort it out. It's a pain at the best of times. There's also an underlying feeling of discomfort where the needle goes into the vein on the back of the hand. Whilst not painful, it's a sensation you feel like you want to get rid of as soon as possible, hence the need to assert yourself and get the needle out asap.

It was great to receive calls yesterday, although I missed a couple whilst napping that I will try and return today. I get the sense that some are worried about ringing me because they've heard how much the chemo takes out of me. Which is true, but no one should worry about that, it's great to get a call and to stay in touch with everyone. If I'm napping because of the fatigue then the phone will be off or at least silent, so leave a voicemail and I'll get back to you when I'm wake enough to hold a conversation. If I'm awake then I'll take the call. The calls are a great pick me up and I am positively glad to hear what's going on where you are. Whilst we probably can't avoid me updating you on the diagnosis, prognosis and what's been happening with my treatment I want to hear, very much, about what's going on in the outside world. Whilst I'm not up to much on the work front I still have my mind and when I'm not in the grip of the fatigue then I need some measure of mental stimulation. So I've been helping with some social media stuff and some powerpoint. I know now that had I reached retirement age I'd find giving up the mental stimulation, the involvement and the contact with a wide range of views a real challenge. If I have a comment to leave behind about work, it is that it's all about the people. The important challenge for those who lead is to create an environment where people feel willing to contribute their best. I've worked in some pretty awful environments but I've also had the privilege to spend most of my time in some really wonderful environments with good people. I've been particularly blessed to have had some great mentors in my time, sadly mentoring seems less prevalent these days than it did when I first set out into the world of work. I'm in the best environment I've ever been in, I work for a really great company and I have some really great colleagues. Sadly, from contacts outside that environment, I read about and hear stories quite regularly about poor behaviour at work, which inevitably leads to people being unsettled, it causes silos to spring up, unnecessary strife between teams, arguments, and it draws managerial time away from what should be a shared endeavour to be appropriately customer focused and concentrating on building shareholder value towards inwardly focused issues such a re-organisations which are generally attempts to re-arrange the deck chairs on a sinking ship as best as possible designing out the internal flaws and attempting to put focus back on the external, where it belongs. OK, enough, rant over... although my serious point relates back to social media and recruitment. Whilst I'm on the side of those who argue you miss the boat if you fail to get involved I also have to point out that like any technology it's an enabler and at the end of the day recruitment remains all about the people. The best and most successful recruiters will be those who embrace new technology for what it can do for them, but also have the skills which enable them to build relationships with clients and candidates, the ability to sell, and the ability to develop business from the various contacts they make on a daily basis. And that's my thought for the day.

Sent from my iPad

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Chemotherapy as an endurance sport...

As of Friday morning, I'm back home after just over 24 hours in hospital which represents my first chemotherapy session (with three or five more sessions to go). I've managed to sleep, in bed, for a few hours and now, early Friday afternoon I'm catching up with my medications, potions and lotions and testing my stomach with a bit of soup. 

We arrived at the hospital by 8:30am on Thursday morning and were up and running by a little after 9:30 am having had a cannula installed into the back of my hand by the doctor. The whole scientific mechanism for holding a cannula on the back of the hand needs to be completely pulled apart and re-designed, because - and this is only my very humble opinion - the whole thing is just too insecure and not really designed to last anywhere near 24 hours when you bear in mind the patient has to go to the toilet and eat and if possible sleep. If the hand never moved then okay, but that is just not a realistic proposition. If the hand moves then the package is never really secure enough, the glue isn't strong enough and despite the ministrations of nurses well practiced in the art of securing the cannula - they all have their favourite tricks - then sooner or later there's bound to be an issue. 

Anyway, the chemotherapy day starts with two bags of saline solution and then finally, finally, finally  at 1:30pm we hit the cancer with PEMETREXED (the first of the three cancer attacking drugs). That takes about 20 minutes and is followed by a bag of Mannitol which is added in to help my kidney function during the chemotherapy. I send an email to my girlfriend asking her if she thinks it's too late for me to do a runner. Sadly, the answer is yes.

From my point of view the worst side effect so far is a dry mouth. I could murder a Frescato from Costa Coffee. I have no idea why - perhaps its the equivalent of what pregnancy does to taste buds - but I am soooo into my iced drinks at the moment - I have been going through anything up to a six pack of Walls Calippos a day . I know that Leisa is quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) laughing about it, but they do so much in terms of the taste of my mouth, keeping my tummy settled and bring a much needed general psychological wellness that I'm not going to stop anytime soon. I ordered a little snow cone maker online. I hope that this will allow me to make my own shaved ice drinks - it's been despatched but it's got a long way to get here from the USA.

By 2:30pm we are up and running with a bag of CISPLATIN (the second of the cancer attackers). The bag has four hours to run. It runs longer because we hit the trauma of the cannula coming out. There's some controlled panic from my  support team, as the CISPLATIN can burn on contact with the skin. Luckily no damage appears to have been done, there is no burning sensation and the team clear up. The doctor comes back, and a cannula is inserted in the other hand and away we go again. I think it's cost me about 30 minutes - but it's already clear I'm going to be here all night, so no real harm done to the schedule.

I come across a card that Leisa has left in my overnight bag. It takes just a moment to run through a wide range of emotions. How lucky I am to have met her and how shockingly awful for her to find out that I have cancer so early in the relationship. I need to put a lid on these emotions today, and concentrate on getting through this ordeal, but I know I will come back to them soon. I know that I could not have gotten this far without her. Since my rheumatologist first said the Big C words I realise that some of me has been on auto-pilot and I need to shake any remnants of that off and get focused on what is really important. 

After the CISPLATIN is complete it's another 2 bags (at two hours each) of saline solutions and at 4:30am this morning in goes the ZOLENDRONIC ACID (the third of the cancer attacking drugs).

Hit conversation of the stay in hospital has been the iPad. Have had a number of conversations with the nurses and the support staff.... Why would you buy one, are they any good, what do you use it for, aren't they expensive etc etc. Say what you like, but the iPad has generated an enormous buzz. It has rocked the established view of the market and inserted a form factor between the phone and laptop. They are beautifully designed. 

Leisa arrives to take me home. I'm more than ready. I feel tired and not particularly with it. I think we're all looking for signs - and not even the big ones about how the chemo has gone - we're all looking for the little ones along the lines of how my stomach feels and the levels of fatigue. All I know is that I need to lie down.

UPDATE: Fatigue has been pretty much the story of the weekend. It's now the middle of Sunday night / Monday morning and I'm a little awake, enough to make myself a cup of tea and to feel that I have a modicum of energy in the tank or might have a little in the tank when I get up on Monday morning proper. Which is good because I was beginning to feel like a total lump of uselessness. 

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The lighter side of morphine

Since the Big C diagnosis I've been moved onto morphine based pain killers. The pain is centred around my chest, specifically the front breastbone at a level of the top of my lungs and round the back at about diaphragm level it's felt like i've been rabbit punched in the kidneys, this latter pain is thought to be what is sometimes called referred pain as the actual source of the pain is my spine but the pain is felt more radially. Getting the morphine dosage right is a complicated process which involves trying to understand the background level of constant pain, which is addressed through pills and taking a liquid based medicine called Oromorph, to deal with fluctuating spot pain. It's not an exact science and it partly depends on an individual's capacity to handle the fluctuating pain level.

One of the side effects of morphine in general is sleepiness. From a mental acuity point of view my best time appears to be morning. Thereafter, my alertness level can be variable and I've found myself asleep in my chair at odd times of the afternoon, evening and night. Sometimes I experience what you might call an enhanced daydream. I have a feeling the doctors may refer to it as an hallucination and possibly a sign that I've overdone the Oromorph. The transitions though can be spectacular, moving seamlessly from reading a blog post or newpaper article to being in the middle of the live event, or having dinner with someone who was in the story. The daydreams are incredibly vivid, rich in detail and content. I certainly have a somewhat better understanding of why addiction is not uncommon for those who take high levels of painkillers.

Recently though I've been experiencing a much less glamourous outcome of the sleepiness which I thought I'd share with you for a laugh, although you must promise me not to snort too much bearing in mind the general loss of dignity implied by what I'm about to tell you. Basically the problem has become falling asleep with a drink in my hand. What happens is that I slowly become aware in my sleep that I have fluid beginning to soak my shirt or trousers, I come round enough to work out that I'm spilling the drink in my hand onto myself and experience a kind of physical knee jerk that flings most of the rest of the drink over the rest of what I'm wearing and the chair I'm sitting in. This is disconcerting the first time it happens, it becomes both funnier and more annoying the more times it happens. It's easy to say that I should just put my glass down when I'm not actively drinking from it, but as a relatively high functioning individual, I can only say that I hear where you are coming from, but you try it!

The immense lack of dignity is going to come when I finally have to accept that I can't control this any longer and need to use a children's sippy cup. How mortifying.... but I have a feeling that in the fullness of time I think I may come to see this as one of the lesser losses of dignity involved in my care.

On the news front I was not in any shape to travel any distance today (Saturday) so I had to put my trip plans on hold for now. I have a call to return on Monday morning which I think is about arrangements for me to start my chemotherapy, I remain hopeful that we can start on Thursday but it's not yet in the bag. The other thing on my mind today has been the why of blogging about my cancer. I think I have two reasons. The first aligns with the view of the Macmillan Cancer charity who remind us that cancer will affect all of us at some point in our lives and 1 in 3 of us will actually be diagnosed with the disease. I'm just doing my bit to help with that awareness campaign. I'm not sure to what extent there is still a stigma attached to being diagnosed with cancer, if I'm honest I think those diagnosed with depression and other mental illness probably have a tougher time in that respect, but if there remains a cancer stigma, this is me doing my bit to help clear that away.

I think the other reason is that if I can help one person, someway down the line, who when faced with neck muscle and shoulder blade pains which then start to move randomly around the back can push for further tests to diagnose cancer as early as possible (and therefore improve their odds or life expectancy) then I will have been able to leave that help as part of my legacy. My other score for the day was a trip to the Apple shop in Leicester to buy an AV cable for my iPad. Sine I've had the iPhone I've been building up a collection of TV programmes and movies, which I have been playing on the iPhone in the evenings when travelling away on business. More recently I've been watching them on my iPad, but now I have the cable I can play them from the iPad through the huge TV in the living room - using the iPad as as a kind of portable DVD player. Awesome! I've gone right back to the start of Life on Mars and I have every episode of "The Wire" and "House" up my sleeve.
Sent from my iPad

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Let battle commence...

This is probably the hardest to put together note that I've ever written. It's taken me almost two days just to get from the input - my first meeting with my Oncologist - to sitting down in front of a computer to write. The facts are relatively straightforward.

I have adenocarcinoma, and no point beating around the bush any longer, that means lung cancer. According to Wikipedia this is the form of lung cancer that is more prevalent in non-smokers, and I probably keep quoting Wikipedia that in the forlorn hope that my cancer may not be self inflicted and nothing to do with the twenty years I did smoke. In reality I'll never know and it really doesn't matter. I have the damn thing now and, self inflicted or not, the battle lines are being drawn. I gave up smoking several years ago, I must go back and work out when I quit for posterity's sake but for the sake of argument it's 7 or 8 years ago. I vividly remember some of the circumstances. I'd coughed up some blood and was worried I had early signs of lung cancer. I saw the doctor, who ordered a chest x-ray and three days later I found out I had viral pneumonia. When he told me that I laughed in relief - he probably thought I was mad, but that was the kick start I needed to give up.

We knew that the lung cancer had spread to my bones. That aligned with the pain that I've been having but then came the first of the hammer blows. I have a second secondary cancer. They've found liver cancer. Ruddy marvellous. But hey bring it on. A fights a fight and I'm not expecting cancer to play nice. I'm expecting it to fight mean and nasty. All I can say is that mentally I'm tough and I'm ready for that fight. I've been spoiling for the fight for three weeks now. It also accounts for some of my other symptoms, so I'm glad it's come out and we can start to address those other symptoms with knowledge of where they are coming from.

We move on to talk about treatment. Some immediate radiotherapy targeting key areas of pain - my breastbone and a couple of hot spots on my spine was are causing the referred pain in my ribs. The downside is that the pain might be worse for a couple of days. The expected upside is a release from the pain for awhile. And then, chemotherapy. Four or six sessions (or cycles), 30 days apart.

And finally the prognosis. And here comes the hammer blow I least expected. As expected they want to see how the chemotherapy goes before they can put some accuracy around it, in any shape or form. He allows me to push for a ballpark. I was hoping to hear two to five years. He says it's six to 12 months. I don't swear that much in writing, but FUCK! Even though I know that it comes with a huge number of caveats, that's just not fair.

There's a bit of a gap in my memory from that single point in time to much later that evening. In retrospect it's caused by a combination of a re-run of the shock of when I first got the Big C diagnosis and just complete overload. I think I'm trying to find the positive way to look at this news. It takes a while but finally I find it. And it's this. There's a conversation everyone gets round to eventually. Usually, but not always, when you've had a bit much to drink. And the question is this... If you found out you had 12 months to live, what would you do! What actually happens is that most people never get to live that question out for real. So many things that people want to do get put off for retirement, or when I pay the mortgage off or when the kids leave home or whatever. And they never get round to living out their dreams. When I get through the chemotherapy I will have a fair idea of the time that I have left. I'll have a prognosis drawn from the best information available. I only hope, when the time comes, that I can come up with a plan worthy of having been given the opportunity.

Strangely enough the day after the news I then have one of the best days I've had physically in weeks. I'm able to sleep in my bed, rather than in my recliner. I get several hours of unbroken sleep. I awake in the best shape I've been in for weeks. I'm ready for the fight. Today, I've been for the radiotherapy. True to form I'm now in more pain. Hopefully it will dissipate rapidly because I'd like to be in a position to take a trip at the weekend. Knowing my luck that will go pear shaped too, but we've got time to see if I can recover.

There are a couple of things that need to happen a week in advance of chemotherapy starting and we've made them happen today. As things stand I'm in a position to start next Thursday, the question is can everything that's needed be lined up by then. I have to say I'm thoroughly impressed with my Oncologist. He's just come back from an important international conference on exactly the types of cancer we're dealing with here. Which means he's as up to date with what might be possible as anyone else I could get referred to in the UK. More than that he's a great way about him. In a very short space of time I've given him my trust. It's going to be one of the most important relationships of my life.

Everyone I've spoken with since I've gotten this new news of the third cancer and a ballpark opening prognosis, really hasn't known what to say. Well, that goes for me too. What can anyone say. It's all been pretty devastating stuff. I'm probably slightly ahead of the curve in processing the news and dealing with it; as this has really played out over about three weeks or so for me; from the original point at which I was told in the very broadest of terms that I have cancer. Whatever you now hear or read, for the sake of clarity, the request to give me a call or drop me a note still stands. I'm still the same Chief Happiness Officer I was three weeks ago. And I know you won't know what to say and neither will I, so we can have conversations about iPads and iPhones and technology and Inbox Zero and work in general, life in general, the news and the weather. See, we'll have plenty to talk about!

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D-Day came early...

The consultant rheumatologist rang me late on Monday. He's spoken with the chest specialist, them both having resumed after a couple of day's holiday the back end of last week. We dance around whether or not I can come into Northampton to see him immediately. I suggest that he can tell me the news over the phone. I can tell he's reluctant. 

The news isn't good. I have an adenocarcinoma - it's a form of lung cancer - ironically the most common form of lung cancer in non-smokers. It's an aggressive, quick growing strain - it would be wouldn't it! So the rheumatologist has referred me to an oncologist. I now await contact from the oncologist for an appointment to discuss details - prognosis and treatment plan. Ironically, more waiting...

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The problem of waiting...

Before I get started, I just had to tell you a great joke I heard this week. Things you don't want to hear in hospital:  Yes, I'm afraid it's the Big C. You were standing by the side of Curry's when the Big C fell off and hit you on the head! 

I fell about when I heard it. If you hadn't figured it out yet, I'm afraid the waiting has made some gallows humour kick in a bit. 

It's all about the waiting at the moment. I saw the GP on Friday, but only because I was running out of morphine. He signed off on so much morphine that I had to fill in the controlled substances box on the prescription form in the chemists for the first time ever. I have the feeling he was probing my psychological state before prescribing me that much of a controlled drug. I guess that's fair enough and something we'd all really think is a sensible precaution just before a large quantity of a lethal drug is handed out. 

He did ask me one question that has made been on and off my mind since he mentioned it. He asked me if I was ready for a diagnosis of lung cancer. I think the context for his question was me telling him that I've not really had that much of an emotional reaction since the day of the diagnosis, or C-day as my girlfriend calls it. Of course I was shocked on C-day. There were any number of emotions swirling around in the immediate aftermath of the announcement. But one emotion I haven't yet done is anger and I think it's kind of expected that I'm going to do anger at some stage. So I think he was checking my preparedness or readiness to hear the worst of all possible outcomes when I get the biopsy results on Tuesday. The trouble is my mind has now got me thinking he already knew the outcome - because for other reasons I believe my case was discussed at a case conference on Thursday at Northampton General Hospital. So I'm putting two and two together to make five. I'm sure it's form that the chest specialist tells me the outcome of the biopsy, so I don't get to hear what the result is until tomorrow (Tuesday) but sometimes when I turn it over in my mind I think he already knew. Then again, he asked me questions and made other comments that suggested he didn't know. 

And there lies the problem with waiting. The longer you wait, the more your mind fills in the gaps. 

Tomorrow is D-day. Diagnosis day. Well, it might be, because all I might find out is that the tests so far are inconclusive and further tests are needed. I'm going to need something to take my mind of the waiting if all I'm facing tomorrow is more waiting. 

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Starting my fight against cancer...

So there I am, sat with my consultant rheumatologist and my girlfriend to find out the results of the most recent tests that have been undertaken to find out why I've been experiencing pain which has moved around my neck, back, shoulders and rib cage. The last time I saw the rheumatologist he'd said that if the pain hadn't started to go away by this time then we'd be moving on to do some form of bone biopsy to find out what was going on. I didn't need the test results to know that the issue wasn't going away on it's own, the pain I am suffering was telling me that much. The consultant began to tell me what they'd found. I am still processing the first lines of what he said to me. He was moving on to tell me that a biopsy had been arranged for me on the Friday, two days hence. I interrupted to say that Friday was a bit difficult as I had an important workshop arranged on Friday. My consultant gave me a look that I can only describe as pity. I think my girlfriend wanted to smack me round the chops. It still took me a few more moments to process what he'd first told me.

I have cancer.

To be honest I think, seven days later, I'm still processing that line. I'm also in a bit of no mans land because I don't know what type of cancer I have yet or what the prognosis is. They did a lung biopsy last Friday, not because they necessarily think I have lung cancer, but the cancer has spread to my lungs and I have a partially collapsed lung. I think they started with the lung because it's the least invasive biopsy and may tell them everything they need to know at this stage. If it doesn't it may give them enough to point to the best place for the next biopsy. We are in diagnostic territory and I am in the hands of the professionals. To be fair the care I've had so far has been fantastic. My consultant doesn't often have to tell people they have cancer. He looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him when he was telling me. Yet he was a credit to his profession. To kind of sum up what I know so far...

(1) I have cancer markers in my blood
(2) The CT scan shows evidence the cancer is widespread
(3) I have a partially collapsed lung

I went on from the consultant pretty much immediately to see my GP. It's amazing how cancer opens doors, usually I'd never be able to get an appointment with my GP within 2 hours. My GP was, and is, great. We discussed pain control and I've been moved onto morphine based painkillers. He told me he'd be giving me a sick note for a couple of weeks. I said okay. He said he thought he was going to have to persuade me as apparently he has me down as a bit reluctant to be sick. He said he was ready to fight me off anyway as (a) getting used to the morphine was likely to make the drowsiness I have been suffering from worse and (b) I need to be available for the diagnostic / biopsy process as and when. This side of things is all bit unclear at the moment as well. All linked to finding out what I have and what the prognosis is.

I've stayed away from the internet so far in terms of researching cancer. I don't want to scare myself by reading horror stories of what I don't have. When they get to the end of this stage and tell me what I have then I want to know everything. I want to know how to fight this and how to beat it. I know one other thing. One of the ways I'm going to beat this is with happiness. I sometimes go by the alternate job title of "Chief Happiness Officer" at work because I believe that happiness is an important component of success. If I am dying I don't want people around me to be sad for me in an enduring way. It's okay to be a bit sad about the news - hell, you can imagine I was a bit sad about the news, but I don't want to be surrounded by perpetual glumness. I could not have gotten through the last week without the support of my girlfriend. One thing I immediately understood about this all was that all the support is focused on me, and none of it on those close to me and on whom this is going to impact dramatically. I've been on the carer side of this type of announcement, admittedly not a cancer diagnosis though, and this stuff is hard. I tell you all this now because I'm likely to talk about this stuff through my social media output - my blog, twitter, Facebook etc etc and if that's going to bore you, upset you, or just mean that I'm no longer a business development opportunity and therefore no longer a person of interest to you then get on with it an unfriend me or unfollow me now. I won't be offended.

Sent from my iPad

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Don't worry lads, we're not crap, it was all a Russian mafia plot!

Did anyone else wonder why a player who made more errors leading to goals than any other player in the Premier League last season was picked somewhat "out of the blue" as England's goalkeeper. This sounds like some kind of Russian mafia plot. Hmmm, didn't we just insinuate something about Russian money being used to buy off World Cup games. The plot thickens! Sent from my iPad

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Time to review our gun laws?

So okay, call me a pinko liberal all you like but events like the massacre in Cumbria yesterday do make me glad that I live in a country that does not have a fundamental right for it's citizens to bear arms.

I don't know much about our current guns laws but now might be a good time to review the relevant legislation. The problem with that thought is that I suspect the right wingers would probably seek to relax the current laws as they by instinct appear to represent the hunting (and by extension) the shooting lobby. Sent from my iPad

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Mindmapping on the iPad

Does anyone know if Mindjet are planning a release of MindManager specifically for the iPad? I often mindmap on my PC but never really found the iPhone a comfortable platform for this activity. I'm pretty sure the iPad will be a great platform for mindmapping and know that there is an iPhone app, but I don't want to waste money getting that version and using it on the iPad if an iPad compatible version is just around the corner.

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Unplugging from the Matrix

Am looking forward to setting my out of office message and winding down to a week unplugged from the matrix. I will have my personal laptop with me but only for photo downloads from camera and iTunes updates. Will also have iPhone and may well play with social media and keep up to date with news but really want to minimise this as much as possible. It's finally time to have some downtime, do some thinking and recharge the batteries. I almost can't remember the last time I completely unplugged quite as much as I'm planning over the course of the next week. I think it was when I went to Florida, so that makes it at least three years!

It's the final episode of Ashes to Ashes tonight. I need to go back and watch Life on Mars which is something I will do when I get back from Cornwall.

And when I get back am looking forward to Crick Boat Show over the Bank Holiday weekend and then getting my hands on long awaited iPad. Geek heaven awaits!

Can't wait for the girlfriend and little people (the Cairn terriers) to arrive and get this party started!

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Ed Miliband

I thougt Ed Miliband sounded quite credible on Andrew Marr this morning. Feel more inclined to think he may make electable Labour leader - more so than his brother. I'm not quite sure why I don't quite trust David, but there's just something about him that doesn't quite feel right. Then again would have either of them before Ed Balls, who strikes me as someone with personality defects similar to Gordon Brown. Balls would make Labour unelectable in my view.

Why they want to stretch it out until the autumn is beyond me. Surely a more concise timetable could be put together that allows candidates to make their case and then vote on it. Hell, we can work out who should run the country in a month. Any longer to elect Labour leader is gonna bore the pants off of most of us.

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Is it a good day to bury embarrasing news?

Am stuck in stationary traffic on the M40. Managed to drip coffee over my white shirt and silk tie. Good start to the day. Girlfriend will enjoy making old man jokes about that!

Might as well bury all my embarrasing news at once. Watched Hachiko on Sunday evening. I cried at the end. It's not an involved plot but a lovely film. And actually based on a true story.

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Random thoughts from the #trulondon #NtonTweetUp

We held an informal Midlands based follow up to the #trulondon unconference with a TweetUp in the foyer of the Barcelo Hotel in Daventry. I was joined by @BillBorman with his very lovely wife Fran, @prefio and @whatjobsite. Experienced mild internet trauma when I first arrived – wot... no free internet!!!... tried to sign up with swisscom for 24 hours and they were experiencing problems taking a payment – which to be fair were resolved after about 10 minutes but it was all a bit more painful that this kind of thing ought to be.

The night was peppered with conversation largely related to social media. I don’t think anything we said would contradict my default stance towards the impact of social media on recruitment. So yes, it’s important, and you ignore it at your peril. However while social media helps you connect with people in new and interesting ways it doesn’t change the skill that recruiters must show in connecting and establishing relationships. So I’m not one of those who think it’s the be all and end all. Where social media fails is where it’s used inappropriately to connect with and then essentially spam people. It takes a more rounded approach than just learning how to post jobs to twitter; recruiters need to think more carefully about the balance of content they provide and be more interesting than a stream of job opportunities which are largely inappropriately targeted and just appear as noise. Like anything that’s directed at me that’s noise I’m going to deploy a noise filter to your activity and screen you out.

The “ignore at your peril” comment means that I view social media as a new channel that sits alongside old channels and those who succeed will be those that are maximising opportunities across all channels; and not ignoring social media because it appears to a fad. Social Media is here to stay. I found myself contrasting social media with the arrival of the internet. On my bookshelf I have issue one of .net magazine from December 1994. I remember then when I was going to an internet cafe in New Mills in Derbyshire with magazine in hand  to experience the new fangled world wide web. I remember my first 56k modem and “the tones” involved in connecting to the internet from home. I remember evangelising about  how the internet would change things and I remember the nay sayers and prophets of doom telling me it would never catch on or never be important. It would be difficult to deny that the internet today isn’t part of the fabric and hasn’t changed the way we consume information, the way we connect with people and the way we shop (just to name a few of the more obvious impacts).

We had an interesting debate about whether the iPad is going to be a hit or a miss. I’m very definitely on the side of it being a hit. I think it’s going to transform the way we consume books and magazines and newspapers partially because of the form factor but also because the iBookshop (or whatever it’s going to be called) is going to do the same thing to print media that iTunes did to music. It’s going to change the way we consume. I think it’s also going to have a massive impact on niche publishers who print and distribute to a small number of localised readers who are now going to get exposure to the long tail of the internet.

Other things we talked about....

The rise of new business models in the recruitment space; Jobgate , Talent Puzzle , Talentdrive , and we talked about referral models (including Prefio)  and vacancy clearing models

Sourcing – and we looked at Jigsaw , who are attempting to be the largest database of contact information and talked about using Amazon Mechanical Turk as a possible route to, for example, sourcing email addresses from name / company lists. We also learnt recently from people like Jim Stroud that it’s about the search for people, not the search for CV’s.

Trends in recruitment – we talked about HR doing it for themselves and the rise of RPO activity; all to the detriment of traditional recruitment agencies

We talked about the difference between Facebook use in the UK versus the USA. It’s much more of a business tool in the USA than it is here.

We talked about twitter and about organising lists. Here’s a thought for the way that you organise your lists; have you got columns for Targets, Influencers and Competitors?

We talked a little about presentations and The Back Channel book by Cliff Atkinson – subtitled “How audiences are using Twitter and Social Media and changing presentations forever. Cliff wrote one of my favourite books about presenting called Beyond Bullet Points. We had a very quick look at a new online presenting tool which I think is very cool called Prezi

A bit of advice from Bill on blogging – when you blog watch the impact if you can include “LinkedIn” in the title of your post.

We also briefly talked about ROI for social media and I must follow up with Bill to get the url of the blog post he talked about that nailed some salient points.

So we quite happily chatted until late into the night, fortunately I live in walking distance from the hotel. Another really interesting nights conversation arising from getting involved in #trulondon. Thanks to Bill and also to Alan Whitford of RCEURO fame who pushed me in the right direction in the first place.

A few links...

My blog post on day 1 of #trulondon

My blog post on day 2 of #trulondon

My presentation to the enhanced media conference on slideshare

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Posterous and Buzz

I'm a big fan of Posterous. Using just one email to my posterous account I can post to my Google Blog, my Posterous Blog, my FaceBook account, my Twitter account and now to Google Buzz. Pictures are also copied from emails and saved to my Flickr account. In writing this quick update I notice that it could also post to my LinkedIn account but I'd already set up LinkedIn and Twitter integration on LinkedIn. So I get LinkedIn status updates via Posterous posting to Twitter. There's also a bunch of other available links (e.g. YouTube).

The method of getting Posterous to post to Buzz isn't as straightforward at present as the other integrations but the instructions are relatively painless to work through. They are documented here:

http://blog.posterous.com/integrating-posterous-and-google-buzz

This post is in effect my trial run at posting to Buzz via Posterous. Fingers crossed.

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Older people do not need less sleep - Science, News - The Independent

As an older person currently experiencing some sleep issues an article in The Independent this morning made for an interesting read...

I could not but agree that was has changed is my tendency to wake in the middle of the night.. the article goes on to suggest the change that comes with age is losing the ability to sleep in one chunk but there is no change to the equation that more sleep equals better functioning.

All of which suggests I probably need to do more to address my mild insomnia issues...

Anyway, here is the article...

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/older-people-do-not-need-less-sleep-1907383.html

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Social Media and reach... #emconf2010 #trulondon

I gave a presentation to around 450 delegates at the Enhanced Media conference about 3 weeks ago. Today I noticed the presentation has 518 views on slideshare. Relevancy is difficult to establish but in basic statistical terms more people have seen my slideshow on the net through a social media channel than in person.

The presentation is here...

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My notes from Day 2 of #trulondon

Here is my learning from day 2...

NETWORKING

·         Got talking with Stephen O’Donnell. He tells me his company put up the first job app for the iPhone – Jobs UK

·         He showed me just how many job apps are now out there – he has almost two screens of them on his iPhone – examples Hays, Monster, Total Jobs, Jobsite

·         His assertion is that a lot of these apps are “me too’s” – caused by the rush to get there and have presence

EYE CANDY

Take a look at http://www.twitterfountain.com/ - awesome UI but not personally convinced it’s something I’d use on a primary screen – projected on the wall at an office, conference, event or if you’re lucky enough to have three screens maybe...

SOURCING

A few sourcing ideas from the serious practitioners...

·         Whois search on GoDaddy.com - http://who.godaddy.com/whoischeck.aspx?isc=goazguk3a&ci=8926

·         Whoozy.com – People Search Engine - http://whoozy.com/

·         TinEye – Reverse Image Search Engine - http://www.tineye.com/

·         Egrabber – captures and processes unstructured data such as cv’s - http://www.egrabber.com/

·         pipl.com – people search engine - http://www.pipl.com/

·         Tweepz – twitter search engine - http://www.tweepz.com/

·         TwitterSheep - http://twittersheep.com/ - produces tag cloud generated from the bios of your “flock” of followers... here is mine...

·         Search is only as good as the quality of your keywords, so keyword research is a critical skill in this arena

·         As much as one can admire the skills on display is this kind of deep web search & social sourcing a dark art and do recruiters in the UK generally need this depth of help?

·         Interesting but unsatisfactory debate about data privacy issues raised by this kind of searching

LINKEDIN

·         Yes, it’s a sourcing tool but it’s a network building and business development tool

·         Default view of recruiters on LinkedIn is overwhelmingly negative

·         A profile 100% complete will get 4 times the number of views of a profile only 90% complete

·         QUOTE – The new API is quite restrictive

·         Discussion about profile pictures – company logo’s and cartoons are not acceptable – difficult for LinkedIn to police but if found you will be suspended

·         Interesting thought – are you happy with the profile and pictures of your recruiters on LinkedIn

·         There is value in using the LinkedIn company profile widget on your website

·         Groups are the value add for those not using LinkedIn to look for a job

TWITJOBSEARCH

·         Arguably the biggest job board in the world right now... http://www.twitjobsearch.com/

·         650,000 new jobs posted in the last 30 days on Twitter

ROI

·         This tracks wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, I was hoping for a discussion on metrics, analysis, tricks and tools

·         I wanted more than... “a company should get into New Media because it’s cheap, fast and everyone else is doing it”

·         Great idea I picked up on the track... If you want to see how bad our industry still is, set up a tweetdeck column using “recruiter” as a search term

FINAL THOUGHTS

·         Two days and two blog posts full of learning points

·         I felt it a more comfortable atmosphere in which to network, I usually feel quite uncomfortable at major conferences and pretty much keep to myself

·         Day 2 of the unconference organisationally better than Day 1 but in the spirit of complete honesty...

·         The location was not ideal – it was quite a palava to leave the main room and go to tracks – this ideally should be much easier to do

·         We could have done with slightly more structure around tracks kicking off, what they were going to be about (to start with) and start times could have been more disciplined

·         If these two ideas were implemented I think we might have seen more movement between tracks, more side tracks starting up and more challenging of track leaders – then again British reserve says maybe not

To be fair though a fantastic event overall, congratulations to the organisers and a shout out to @billboorman

Bill and I are running a little tweetup in the Midland “to carry on the conversation” as it were ... 3rd March, Barcelo Hotel, Daventry, 7:30pm sign up http://bit.ly/cTlXvZ #NtonTweetUp. There’s only four of us attending so far so lots of room and it’s free.

I have one last thought. If you read this via twitter and went to #trulondon then I’d ask you to tweet the following...

I went to #trulondon and learnt...

It’s for you to fill in the blanks!

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. @billboorman in full flow at #trulondon

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My notes from Day 1 of #trulondon

I had planned to live tweet from #trulondon but in the end I kind of followed the #trulondon hashtag on TweetDeck on my iPhone and spent the time listening and participating in the sessions. To some extent I’m still processing whether the chaos of the unconference style suits me but I did find the day interesting and engaging. Here’s my learning...

VIDEO

·         Jim Stroud made some excellent points about how easy it is to get into video and pointed to the excellent case studies of military and schools in the US

·         The entry barrier to video is so low these days – just a flip camera and away you go – don’t make it too high tech and it doesn’t need high production values

·         Wander round and ask staff... “What do you like about working at xxxxx” – just 30 second clips and edit them together

·         Example: Microsoft Canada Development Centre = 9000 views

·         You can embed video in LinkedIn via Google presentations (and I think you can now do this via SlideShare as well)

·         The jobs don’t have to sexy – the other example was “Food Jobs in Saudi Arabia” - = 1000 views (but it’s about getting to the right audience)

·         Good sourcing idea that cropped up in the discussion – look at the people who comment on specialist videos e.g. Microsoft SQL videos on YouTube or post pictures of windfarms on Flickr as potential candidates for appropriate roles

REPUTATION 2.0

·         Paul Harrison, Carve Consulting, made excellent points about reputation and the impact of ignoring negative social media comment

·         Asda were singled out as a case study in appropriate response to negative social media commentary

·         TripAdvisor was pointed to as an example of social rating – are we far away from online rating of recruitment experiences becoming the norm?

SOCIAL MEDIA ROI

·         Yes, it’s important

·         Yes, it can be measured

·         Yes, advice is out there on how to do that

·         It’s about tracking both cost AND quality

JOB BOARDS

·         Job Boards probably getting tired of hearing about their “imminent death” – and hold my hands up here, I’m one of the culprits

·         Worth noting that downward pressure on the cost model has halved the recruitment media market from £1.5B to £750M in about 10 years

·         Need to factor in the apathy of job hunters and the fact that candidates will continue to use agencies and it’s agencies that fuel Job Boards

·         Behavioural analysis is key – in the final analysis as much as we blather about job boards we will all go where the candidates go

·         There’s some evidence of online profiles replacing CV’s but it’s not universal

TECHNOLOGY STREAM

·         Make sure you establish clearly what problem(s) you are trying to solve

·         QUOTE OF THE DAY: “Implementing an ERP as an ATS takes 18 months just to get you back where you were when you started”

·         There’s a tendency to over-specify when thinking about the requirements for an ATS – map your core processes and deliver that

·         The Big Three ATS systems named as Taleo, Kenexa and Peopleclick

·         SECOND QUOTE OF THE DAY – “The wrong people in the organisation often make the buying decision (i.e. IT people rather than HR / Recruiter people)”

·         Approach advice was to focus on use cases rather than huge multi-page requirements documents

·         Technology shout outs to: Jobs2Web, Sonar6 and JobVite (who I see for your contact details are offering a free e-book on the “5 secrets to successful social recruiting”)

GEN Y

·         QUOTE: “For the first time a younger generation is an authority on something that matters – they “get” the internet better than the older generations

·         I felt like an old fuddy duddy defending the honour of my generation!!!

BLOGGING

·         Content

·         Passion

·         ROI

·         It’s part of a broader strategy

·         Internal Blogging by the company CEO

FINAL THOUGHTS

·         Get beyond dipping a toe in the social media world and think seriously about social media strategy

·         Make a start by making sure you’re listening

·         We have under exploited video as a recruiting tool

·         SEO is not as well understood as it should be and we could be better with analysis, metrics and ROI

·         Consider ceding control of social media channels to GEN Y employees

 

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